Every single day, you must face whatever world you have woken up to —
whatever that may be. That's the only world you get. You must start
there.
March 31 2020
It’s raining. It’s Sunday. It’s quarantine. It’s solitude. It’s ON.
Dear Ones: The good people at the meditation app Insight Timer
reached out to me a few days ago, and asked if I would volunteer to offer a talk about fear, that they might be able to share with the world, for people who are feeling so anxious right now.
I was honored and humbled to be asked.
Yesterday I holed up in my laundry room all day (the quietest place in the house) to create this talk, and then to record into my phone. (This is what passes as a recording studio these days!)
The talk is now available on Insight Timer, where it will remain. If you click this link, it should take you there:
https://insig.ht/D9JHuDigY4
(You’ll need to download the app in order to listen...but I want to tell you that it’s a REALLY good app, with thousands of great guided meditations. I’ve been using it for years myself, to help with my own meditation practice.❤️ This is why it felt right for me to offer my talk here...because know it’s a good and earnest platform.)
So there it is, Angels — a talk which contains everything I’ve learned over the years about my old friend fear.
I hope, if you listen, that my words might help to bring you some peace in these challenging days.
Lots and lots of love to you all.
I’m holding your hearts in my heart. ❤️LG
Yesterday I holed up in my laundry room all day (the quietest place in the house) to create this talk, and then to record into my phone. (This is what passes as a recording studio these days!)
The talk is now available on Insight Timer, where it will remain. If you click this link, it should take you there:
https://insig.ht/D9JHuDigY4
(You’ll need to download the app in order to listen...but I want to tell you that it’s a REALLY good app, with thousands of great guided meditations. I’ve been using it for years myself, to help with my own meditation practice.❤️ This is why it felt right for me to offer my talk here...because know it’s a good and earnest platform.)
So there it is, Angels — a talk which contains everything I’ve learned over the years about my old friend fear.
I hope, if you listen, that my words might help to bring you some peace in these challenging days.
Lots and lots of love to you all.
I’m holding your hearts in my heart. ❤️LG
The difference between the word "worry", and the word "concern".
Dear Ones -
I want to offer you something today, which I hope might make you feel a little better, if you happen to be worrying about anything. (And who isn't?)
It's about the difference between the word "worry", and the word "concern".
The word "worry" comes to us from the Old English verb "wyrgan", which means "to strangle". The word "worry", therefore, shares a similar root to the word "wring". Both words mean to seize something by the throat, and choke the living breath out of it.
How's that working for you?
You already know that this is what worry feels like, right? Like choking? Like the life is being wrung out of you?
But here's the thing I've been thinking about lately: I believe that when we worry about other people, we also choke the life out of THEM. Have you ever had somebody say to you, "I love you, and that's why I'm really worried about you"? And did you ever feel smothered by their worry, and you couldn't figure out why? I mean, it should feel warm and nice to have somebody care about you, right? So why, when people say that they are worried about you, do you want to change your name and run for the hills?
It's because you're trying not to suffocate. It's because worry is not the same experience as love. Love breathes life into everything it touches; worry, on the other hand, just goes around wringing everyone's necks.
For that reason, I'm trying not to learn how to NOT WORRY so much about people anymore — or even about situations, or even about myself. This is not easy for me. I'm a natural-born worrier. I'm a highly anxious neck-wringer from way back. But I don't want to cut off the air supply anymore — not to myself, not to anyone, not to anything.
Here's the trick, though: I also don't want to become indifferent. In fact, I'm INCAPABLE of being indifferent; I care too much about everything. So, what is a healthier emotion to foster in myself, than worry?
This is where CONCERN comes in.
Concern is a beautiful word. It has nothing to do with anybody getting strangled. The word "concern" comes to us from from the Middle French verb "concerner", which means "to touch, or "to belong to," and THAT word, in turn, came to us, from Late Latin verb "concernere", which means "to sift" or "to perceive".
Do you see how much more lightness and grace there is in concern, than in worry? When you're concerned about somebody, it's because you feel that they belong to you, and you want to reach out and touch them, and (most importantly) you are ready to SIFT through the situation carefully. Through the act of sifting, you will be able to find healthy and essential truths about how much control you have over this person, or whether your involvement in their life is actually helping, or what about their situation can be changed or not changed. (See how the word "concern" is related to the word "discern", which is another kind of careful sifting?)
To sift requires patience, wisdom, and a light touch.
Sifting takes more work than strangling, but I believe it's worth the careful effort.
And sifting is also how you tell the difference between yourself and someone else — rather than tying a rope around both of your throats and steadily choking each other to death.
So...this is what I've been asking myself lately, whenever I get upset about myself, about another person, or about a situation in the world: Am I choked with worry? Or am I ready to take a deep breath and become, instead, concerned? Am I going in for the stranglehold, or am I ready to touch the situation lightly, and sift through it all carefully?
All I want, in the end, is to care about everyone and everything I love, while still being able to breathe.
ONWARD,
LG
I want to offer you something today, which I hope might make you feel a little better, if you happen to be worrying about anything. (And who isn't?)
It's about the difference between the word "worry", and the word "concern".
The word "worry" comes to us from the Old English verb "wyrgan", which means "to strangle". The word "worry", therefore, shares a similar root to the word "wring". Both words mean to seize something by the throat, and choke the living breath out of it.
How's that working for you?
You already know that this is what worry feels like, right? Like choking? Like the life is being wrung out of you?
But here's the thing I've been thinking about lately: I believe that when we worry about other people, we also choke the life out of THEM. Have you ever had somebody say to you, "I love you, and that's why I'm really worried about you"? And did you ever feel smothered by their worry, and you couldn't figure out why? I mean, it should feel warm and nice to have somebody care about you, right? So why, when people say that they are worried about you, do you want to change your name and run for the hills?
It's because you're trying not to suffocate. It's because worry is not the same experience as love. Love breathes life into everything it touches; worry, on the other hand, just goes around wringing everyone's necks.
For that reason, I'm trying not to learn how to NOT WORRY so much about people anymore — or even about situations, or even about myself. This is not easy for me. I'm a natural-born worrier. I'm a highly anxious neck-wringer from way back. But I don't want to cut off the air supply anymore — not to myself, not to anyone, not to anything.
Here's the trick, though: I also don't want to become indifferent. In fact, I'm INCAPABLE of being indifferent; I care too much about everything. So, what is a healthier emotion to foster in myself, than worry?
This is where CONCERN comes in.
Concern is a beautiful word. It has nothing to do with anybody getting strangled. The word "concern" comes to us from from the Middle French verb "concerner", which means "to touch, or "to belong to," and THAT word, in turn, came to us, from Late Latin verb "concernere", which means "to sift" or "to perceive".
Do you see how much more lightness and grace there is in concern, than in worry? When you're concerned about somebody, it's because you feel that they belong to you, and you want to reach out and touch them, and (most importantly) you are ready to SIFT through the situation carefully. Through the act of sifting, you will be able to find healthy and essential truths about how much control you have over this person, or whether your involvement in their life is actually helping, or what about their situation can be changed or not changed. (See how the word "concern" is related to the word "discern", which is another kind of careful sifting?)
To sift requires patience, wisdom, and a light touch.
Sifting takes more work than strangling, but I believe it's worth the careful effort.
And sifting is also how you tell the difference between yourself and someone else — rather than tying a rope around both of your throats and steadily choking each other to death.
So...this is what I've been asking myself lately, whenever I get upset about myself, about another person, or about a situation in the world: Am I choked with worry? Or am I ready to take a deep breath and become, instead, concerned? Am I going in for the stranglehold, or am I ready to touch the situation lightly, and sift through it all carefully?
All I want, in the end, is to care about everyone and everything I love, while still being able to breathe.
ONWARD,
LG
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