Marc and Angel are two passionate writers of
marcandangel.com, life-hackers, and the authors of
1000 Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently. Here’s their list of 8 things to remember when everything goes wrong.
If you enjoy this, be sure to check out their website for more inspirational advice and practical tips to improve your life.
“Today, I’m sitting in my hospital bed waiting to have both my breasts
removed. But in a strange way I feel like the lucky one. Up until now I
have had no health problems. I’m a 69-year-old woman in the last room at
the end of the hall before the pediatric division of the hospital
begins. Over the past few hours I have watched dozens of cancer patients
being wheeled by in wheelchairs and rolling beds. None of these
patients could be a day older than 17.”
That’s an entry from my grandmother’s journal, dated 9/16/1977. I
photocopied it and pinned it to my bulletin board about a decade ago.
It’s still there today, and it continues to remind me that there is
always, always, always something to be thankful for. And that no matter
how good or bad I have it, I must wake up each day thankful for my life,
because someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.
Truth be told, happiness is not the absence of problems, but the
ability to deal with them. Imagine all the wondrous things your mind
might embrace if it weren’t wrapped so tightly around your struggles.
Always look at what you have, instead of what you have lost. Because
it’s not what the world takes away from you that counts; it’s what you
do with what you have left.
Here are a few reminders to help motivate you when you need it most:
#1. Pain is part of growing. Sometimes life closes
doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing because
we often won’t move unless circumstances force us to. When times are
tough, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. Move on
from what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you. Just because
you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. Every great success
requires some type of worthy struggle to get there. Good things take
time. Stay patient and stay positive. Everything is going to come
together; maybe not immediately, but eventually.
Remember that there are two kinds of pain: pain that hurts and pain
that changes you. When you roll with life, instead of resisting it, both
kinds help you grow.
#2. Everything in life is temporary. Every time it
rains, it stops raining. Every time you get hurt, you heal. After
darkness there is always light – you are reminded of this every morning,
but still you often forget, and instead choose to believe that the
night will last forever. It won’t. Nothing lasts forever.
So if things are good right now, enjoy it. It won’t last forever. If
things are bad, don’t worry because it won’t last forever either. Just
because life isn’t easy at the moment, doesn’t mean you can’t laugh.
Just because something is bothering you, doesn’t mean you can’t smile.
Every moment gives you a new beginning and a new ending. You get a
second chance, every second. You just have to take it and make the best
of it. (Read
The Last Lecture.)
#3. Worrying and complaining changes nothing. Those
who complain the most, accomplish the least. It’s always better to
attempt to do something great and fail than to attempt to do nothing and
succeed. It’s not over if you’ve lost; it’s over when you do nothing
but complain about it. If you believe in something, keep trying. Don’t
let the shadows of the past darken the doorstep of your future. Spending
today complaining about yesterday won’t make tomorrow any brighter.
Take action instead. Let what you’ve learned improve how you live. Make a
change and never look back.
And regardless of what happens in the long run, remember that true
happiness begins to arrive only when you stop complaining about your
problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t
have.
#4. Your scars are symbols of your strength. Don’t
ever be ashamed of the scars life has left you with. A scar means the
hurt is over and the wound is closed. It means you conquered the pain,
learned a lesson, grew stronger, and moved forward. A scar is the tattoo
of a triumph to be proud of. Don’t allow your scars to hold you
hostage. Don’t allow them to make you live your life in fear. You can’t
make the scars in your life disappear, but you can change the way you
see them. You can start seeing your scars as a sign of strength and not
pain.
Rumi once said, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
Nothing could be closer to the truth. Out of suffering have emerged the
strongest souls; the most powerful characters in this great world are
seared with scars. See your scars as a sign of “YES! I MADE IT! I
survived and I have my scars to prove it! And now I have a chance to
grow even stronger.”
#5. Every little struggle is a step forward.
In life, patience is not about waiting; it’s the ability to keep a
good attitude while working hard on your dreams, knowing that the work
is worth it. So if you’re going to try, put in the time and go all the
way. Otherwise, there’s no point in starting. This could mean losing
stability and comfort for a while, and maybe even your mind on occasion.
It could mean not eating what, or sleeping where, you’re used to, for
weeks on end. It could mean stretching your comfort zone so thin it
gives you a nonstop case of the chills. It could mean sacrificing
relationships and all that’s familiar. It could mean accepting ridicule
from your peers. It could mean lots of time alone in solitude. Solitude,
though, is the gift that makes great things possible. It gives you the
space you need. Everything else is a test of your determination, of how
much you really want it.
And if you want it, you’ll do it, despite failure and rejection and
the odds. And every step will feel better than anything else you can
imagine. You will realize that the struggle is not found on the path, it
is the path. And it’s worth it. So if you’re going to try, go all the
way. There’s no better feeling in the world… there’s no better feeling
than knowing what it means to be ALIVE. (Angel and I discuss this in
more detail in the “Goals and Success” chapter of
1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)
#6. Other people’s negativity is not your problem.
Be positive when negativity surrounds you. Smile when others try to
bring you down. It’s an easy way to maintain your enthusiasm and focus.
When other people treat you poorly, keep being you. Don’t ever let
someone else’s bitterness change the person you are. You can’t take
things too personally, even if it seems personal. Rarely do people do
things because of you. They do things because of them.
Above all, don’t ever change just to impress someone who says you’re
not good enough. Change because it makes you a better person and leads
you to a brighter future. People are going to talk regardless of what
you do or how well you do it. So worry about yourself before you worry
about what others think. If you believe strongly in something, don’t be
afraid to fight for it. Great strength comes from overcoming what others
think is impossible.
All jokes aside, your life only comes around once. This is IT. So do
what makes you happy and be with whoever makes you smile, often.
#7. What’s meant to be will eventually, BE. True
strength comes when you have so much to cry and complain about, but you
prefer to smile and appreciate your life instead.
There are blessings
hidden in every struggle you face, but you have to be willing to open
your heart and mind to see them. You can’t force things to happen. You
can only drive yourself crazy trying. At some point you have to let go
and let what’s meant to be, BE.
In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking
chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and
learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop
worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the
confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it
unfolds. You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you
will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be. (Read
A New Earth.)
#8. The best thing you can do is to keep going.
Don’t be afraid to get back up – to try again, to love again, to live
again, and to dream again. Don’t let a hard lesson harden your heart.
Life’s best lessons are often learned at the worst times and from the
worst mistakes. There will be times when it seems like everything that
could possibly go wrong is going wrong. And you might feel like you will
be stuck in this rut forever, but you won’t. When you feel like
quitting, remember that sometimes things have to go very wrong before
they can be right. Sometimes you have to go through the worst, to arrive
at your best.
Yes, life is tough, but you are tougher. Find the strength to laugh
every day. Find the courage to feel different, yet beautiful. Find it in
your heart to make others smile too. Don’t stress over things you can’t
change. Live simply. Love generously. Speak truthfully. Work
diligently. And even if you fall short, keep going. Keep growing.
Awake every morning and do your best to follow this daily TO-DO list:
Think positively. Eat healthy. Exercise today. Worry less. Work hard. Laugh often. Sleep well. Repeat…
“Everything is temporary, this too shall pass” is a phrase that
always comes to my mind whenever things are not going well. All of these
are excellent reminders. If you enjoyed this Marc and Angel’s tips,
share them with your friends and family.
