THE ALPHA MARE

Beautiful message from E Gilbert.. ~ ~


THE ALPHA MARE

Dear Ones -
The other day, I was talking with someone on this page about how to walk through the world with “an undefended heart”.
This person was saying that she wants so much to live with an open and undefended heart, but then it always happens that people hurt her and attack her when they see that she is open. She doesn’t want to leave herself vulnerable to that sort of pain. So she shuts down. Understandably.
So what is to be done?
How do we live open-hearted lives without being victims of constant attack?
Allow me to introduce you to the Alpha Mare.
This is an idea that came to me through my beloved friend Martha Beck, who explained to me how the psychology of a herd of horses works. At the top of the hierarchy of a herd of horses, there is an alpha mare. She is the leader. (Stallions come and go, but the mare is in charge of the herd forever.) All the other horses look to her, in order to know what to do and how to feel. As long as she remains calm, the rest of the herd feels calm. And the alpha mare is always calm, because her boundaries are AIRTIGHT. She knows exactly

who she is, and nobody messes with it. Nobody approaches the alpha mare without her invitation. Nobody imposes themselves upon the alpha mare against her will. The alpha mare never lets herself be influenced by another horse's fears or anxieties or aggression. She knows what the right thing to do is, and she does it. Everyone else follows. She doesn’t need anyone’s approval for anything. She doesn’t need anyone’s permission. She lives and breathes from a place of integrity and certainty, because of her strong and appropriate boundaries. And as a result, SHE IS ALWAYS RELAXED.
And because she is relaxed, everyone around her is RELAXED.
Thus the whole herd can live safely and peacefully around her, with undefended hearts, and the alpha mare's heart is undefended, too.
It is fear that makes you defend your heart, but once you have discovered appropriate boundaries, you do not need to live in constant fear.
Until you learn how to hold appropriate boundaries, and stand in integrity, and speak your truth, you will never have a relaxed moment in your life. You will live like a fugitive, always on the run, always hiding, always afraid of being exposed.
A heart without healthy and appropriate boundaries can only suffer in a constant state of anxiety and defense — vigilant against the next attack,helpless against other people’s will.
To live with an undefended heart does NOT mean that you walk out in the world like a helpless child, wide-open and boundary-less, and you just let anyone do anything to you that they please. That is not openness; that is weakness.
No. You can only live with an undefended heart once you know the difference between “This is OK for me,” and “This is not OK for me” — so you never need to worry or stress about what’s going to happen to you next, or somebody will say next, or who will harm you.
Once you know the difference between “This is OK”, and “This is not OK”, you can walk anywhere in this world safely — your guard down, your eyes filled with curiosity, your soul filled with simple wonder.
That is the alpha mare, and she’s hiding inside you somewhere, waiting to come out.
I know she is.

The Rhythm of The Heart

When the rhythm of the heart becomes hectic,
Time takes on the strain until it breaks;
Then all the unattended stress falls in
On the mind like an endless, increasing weight,

The light in the mind becomes dim.
Things you could take in your stride before
Now become laborsome events of will.
Weariness invades your spirit.
Gravity begins falling inside you,
Dragging down every bone.
The tide you never valued has gone out.
And you are marooned on unsure ground.
Something within you has closed down;
And you cannot push yourself back to life.
You have been forced to enter empty time.
The desire that drove you has relinquished.
There is nothing else to do now but rest
And patiently learn to receive the self
You have forsaken for the race of days.
At first your thinking will darken
And sadness take over like listless weather.
The flow of unwept tears will frighten you.
You have traveled too fast over false ground;
Now your soul has come to take you back.
Take refuge in your senses, open up
To all the small miracles you rushed through.
Become inclined to watch the way of rain
When it falls slow and free.
Imitate the habit of twilight,
Taking time to open the well of color
That fostered the brightness of day.
Draw alongside the silence of stone
Until its calmness can claim you.
Be excessively gentle with yourself.
Stay clear of those vexed in spirit.
Learn to linger around someone of ease
Who feels they have all the time in the world.
Gradually, you will return to yourself,
Having learned a new respect for your heart
And the joy that dwells far within slow time.
~ John O'Donohue, A Blessing for One Who is Exhausted
~ Image "Winter morning" by Tristan Campbell

A special surprise for me

A special surprise for me.. Someone has gifted me another free session with Kathy and Angel..  I am beyond blessed.. I hope to pay it fore ward to this beautiful group. This was a beautiful post for me to see.. If you are lonely, depressed, unstable, confused, angry, hurt, need good friends, full of anxiety, and you need compassion from someone.. Then you need to check out Kathy's FB group and her website.. A simple yet compassionate group of women you are trying to find their way in life.. And a desperate need to feel well...

It is a gorgeous Saturday and even more so with the news that one of our members has just donated a free 30 minute session to Julie Elder !!

Julie's hard work has not gone unnoticed both here and on her very beautiful blog. By sharing from her heart she sends a light out into the world that is far reaching, and in return is blessed in many ways.

Your session has been scheduled for January 30th at 11:30am EST. Please email in with any questions

And thank you to our awesome member who so lovingly gifted this today

The Brokenness

 Many of us have come from the brokenness. And its ok to give this brokenness heart to our Father's heart...  We can ask him to help heal this broken vessel... He has chosen us as his beloved.. A constant reminder to us, even though we may feel broken... We can heal... I love Kathy Hope and Angel..... She has taught me so much in the little bit of time I have had with her.. She has taught us to be real with each other, a place where we can hold each other up, and her presence is peaceful... Be transparent with our brokenness.. Be truthful of the truth of who we are in Christ... Our brokenness can allow us to reach out to others, we can share and help build a stronger world.. Remove all the pain.. There is a better way.. Freedom can be found within it... Peace and bounteousness will engulf our very being...  Julie...

From Angel

We are growing and changing daily and that is healing...

Angel News!

Everything that is happening now, was created because people believed this is the way things should be and or they say, I need to do this or that.

Everything is being created by individuals and the collective of spirits which is all of you.

You will make the biggest change in the world and others by a ripple like effect, but in order to start this you will change to a point most people will ask you what happened to you.
Not in bad way.
They will be surprised by the new you!

Work on being the light in your and everyone else's life and then you will see beautiful changes mind body and spirit.  Kathy Hope

Making Friends With Your Mind

Return to the Inner Flow and Freedom of “Unconditional Friendliness”

Have you ever found yourself thinking your way into a tangle of fret, frustration, or gloom? And then something small—a few kind words, the sun glancing through the Making Friends with Your Mind, that’s what Pema Chödrön helps us to do, not by chance but with our full intention: to stop fighting with our thoughts and reopen ourselves to wonder as naturally as we breathe.
clouds, a warm cup of tea—gave you a welcome pause from all your inner chatter? With
The Buddha saw that the human experience is full of drama: confusion and conviction, joy and sorrow, success and failure—and that our minds love to amplify all of it. “We decide somebody or something is a certain way,” muses Pema Chödrön, “and then that judgment gets frozen and fixated, long after things change. And things always change, right?”
In these free-spirited sessions, Ani Pema helps you to bring awareness to those inflexible thoughts and sticking points. Through meditations, daily practices, and the kind of simple pointers that can change our lives, you’ll learn that it is entirely possible to return to the flow and freedom of your experiences—and to find your way each day closer to a place of unconditional friendliness with yourself and with those in need.

• Why do I forget to be kind to myself. Seems to escape me quit often.
• In my challenging relationships and situations, I now know why its important to let go of my story and see what’s really happening to me.
• I am learning about my own inner comfort and greater kindness toward my body.
• I am learning how to lean into my own frustration, sadness, and fear with a spirit of trust and intimacy
• I'm learning how to use many other insights and recommendations to befriend the difficult places within myself today.

Through gentle and clear guidance, Coming Closer to Ourselves shows us how, even in the tumult of life’s uncertainties, we can begin with a glimmer of curiosity, move closer into our experiences, and discover a place of welcome and refuge within.

Honor Your Body Through Yoga

I have discovered that I have become a emotional eater.. I eat and eat and munch and munch non stop. So binge eating and struggling with self-love was my very own destructive path..... I found myself at the lowest time in my life... I think alot of it all

started about 3 years ago when I came down with frozen shoulders.. That took my life into
a very black spiral and a very deep hole... As my rt shoulder started to unthaw after a year and half, I ended up with tinnitus in my rt ear... I knew that I need to wake up and smell the roses... I have been learning every thing from energy, yoga, mediating, learning how to breath right.. I came across Dana, and fell completely in love with her.. She is amazing...
 through watching her on videos, I was discovering myself, falling in love with my new yoga practice, and ultimately myself. I am just a beginner, but I am finding it is full of magic. It's enchanting and seductive and mysterious. It will leave you with so many gifts if you are open to receiving them. It can leave you to experience and to foster a closeness to yourself that is unshakable. I love Yoga. Honor the body you bring to the mat today and every day...

 I came across this wonderful interview with Dana, and wanted to share it with you...

Dana Falsetti 

Dana Falsetti came to her yoga practice after years of binge eating and struggling with self-love. She, like much of our society, used to equate her size with her happiness. Early in college she hit a point where she was both her heaviest and unhappiest, and she decided to make a change. After a year of steady weight loss, she realized that while her body looked different, nothing really changed. She found herself in a “new” body with all of her old habits, tendencies and insecurities. That’s when Dana walked into her first yoga class.
Throughout her practice, Dana moved from a place of fear to a place of love. Love for herself, for the world around her, for her darkest moments and her lightest. Not only did she meet and surpass limits she thought were in her body, but she surpassed the same limits in her mind and heart. Yoga has given her space to know her worth and that’s what she aims to share with others.
Dana now travels and teaches yoga all over the world. She is known as a body positive advocate and believes a strong yoga practice is available to all. Dana has been featured in online and print publications such as Shape, Mind Body Green, Buzzfeed, Aerie, Plus Model Magazine, and more.

A Letter From Me

December 14, 2014

 

I came to my yoga practice after years of binge eating, years of struggling with confidence, years of gaining and losing weight in bouts of depression and anxiety, and crazed attempts to find a little peace. 

I hit a point in my life sometime early on in college where I was both my heaviest and my unhappiness at about 300 pounds. I thought the two went hand in hand, so I started hitting the gym in hopes to make a permanent change. Significant weight loss and loads of empty compliments later, I realized that absolutely nothing had changed. My physical body changed, but my body changes every single day and always will. I was still me, I brought myself and all of my habits and tendencies and fears with me to my "new" body. 

So I came to yoga as a last resort. I was unknowingly searching for something, and I think ultimately that thing was peace. Peace and freedom that eventually came from a place of self worth. I remember my first class well. I walked in having the largest body in the room on top of being the beginner, and yoga was hard. I couldn't hold down dog for 5 breaths, my shoulders were on fire, and all the while it seemed everybody else was popping up into optional headstands like it was no big deal. I remember thinking that would never and could never be me. I thought my body would limit my practice, but eventually I learned that only my mind sets limits. 

Many people think they need to be thin, flexible, or strong to practice yoga. Please, hear me when I say that yoga is for everybody. Bodies change and evolve every single day, and the physical practice is simply a manifestation of the internal change. Yoga is a spiritual practice, one that allows you to be and see yourself. It's a practice of non-attachment. Your physical body isn't a deciding factor in whether or not yoga is for you. Your body changes. There's nothing to be attached to that won't leave you hurting or feeling empty down the road. Come to yoga to find out how you feel, not judge how you look. We do enough of that anyway. Give yourself a chance, give yourself the gift of knowing your worth and it will change your life. 

Love and light to all of you beautiful people, 

xx Dana

 http://danafalsetti.com/

 

Beginner Series that I just love...

This beginner-friendly series will prove that you don't have to look a certain way in order to have a rich and rewarding yoga practice! Included is a 90-day practice calendar that gives you an easy-to-follow daily schedule to tell you how to use all 18 hours of classes in the best way possible!
This journey will bring self-acceptance into your life both on and off the mat - no matter your size or age or life experience. Yoga is meant for everybody, and both of us can tell you that the impact yoga will have in your life! You will develop strength, flexibility and confidence in beginner-focused tutorial and flow classes!
Jessamyn designed EveryBody Yoga to reflect the way she wished yoga studios programmed their classes when she first started out. Each lighthearted class moves at a comfortable yet challenging pace, teaching you to focus on feeling through transitions and to connect to your body.
Making Shapes introduces you to intermediate postures such as backbends, arm balances and headstands! Dana will show you how to take basic shapes like Camel and Downward dog and safely transform them to their more complex variations.

https://www.codyapp.com/bundles/embody-yoga-bundle

Awakening

The Awakening... A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out… ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself
More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people… and you lean not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You lean that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
This is your awakening. You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you… and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself… and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself… and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties… and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.   You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with. You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix. You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that ‘alone’ does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels the soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.